I am 39 and have been riding all my life. I have had many falls, some required hospital stays, but in January 2004 I had a bad fall that I am still recovering from. I was told by my doctor that I may can start back riding next month after I do some strength training if I do OK.. But for the first time in my life I am scared.. I have begged the doctors for over a year to let me ride, but now that the doctor says that I may get to ride I think I am scared.. I was excited at first BUT now I dont know.. What if? well you know. I have just got where I can walk into the store without stopping in pain.. I still cant see to drive very well and I cant drive at night at all or sit with a light over me. I have just gotten where I can use my computer thanks to the LCD screen and a dimmed room. Am I crazy?  How do I get back on? I've never felt this way before. How do I deal? I love my horses..

I guess what scares me is I almost died from that last ride and all I had was a broken leg that went bad at the hospital ( doctors mistake). Near death experience. My husband is very supportive and will be more than glad to help, as a matter of fact he doesn't want me to ride but understands my love for my horses and wants to be a part of it. I have never had a fear like this before and dont know how to deal. I will get back up very slow. Your idea of just sitting is good. I will have to bite my pride and start from scratch or not at all..

Thanks, Just wanted a few words of encouragement from someone who has had the same fear and worked through it.

Thanks a million!

I promise you that once you sit on that horse you will be cantering across the fields in no time.  Just don't push yourself.  Make your goal for the day but be flexible.  Day one - sit on horse in round pen.  Day two - sit on horse in round pen for 5 minutes.  Day three - have your husband walk you around one lap. On so on.  Each day that nothing bad happens you will start to get that feeling back.  That feeling of - "I am in control of this animal."   I know how you feel.  When the horse starts to dance and jig you want to throw up.  But just remember back to a time when that dance made your heart soar and your adrenaline pump.  You will get that back and it will be faster than you think.  The saying goes - Every journey begins with just one step.  Yours will be a mounting block.

One last tip.  Use a small step ladder with big wide steps.  I felt better stepping up the ladder and standing over the horse.  And thinking back that first day  I just climbed the ladder and leaned over my horse's back keeping my feet firmly on the ladder.  After about 30 seconds (which is an eternity) my husband said, "Just get on.  I am not going to let anything happen."  And that was it.

Ok, I just wanted to see if you were kind of new at this and had a bad seed horse.  Sounds like the 2 just got the best of you this time.  That happens.  My suggestion is to get back on a good broke horse and just have fun.  You'll gain your confidence back and remember how much you enjoyed it before.  If you don't want to deal with the youngsters anymore, so what.  You don't have anything to prove and you can still have tons of fun with the broke ones.  So, sadlle up, longe it hard first to insure a good experience, and hop on!  You'll be back to normal in no time!

Thanks so much for all of yalls encouragement, It truely helps me inside. I will get back on but will take it slow, sitting awhile sounds like the plan on a well lounged horse. I will make sure I have help from my husband and do a lot of praying before hand.

 The Lord willing I will be back.

Pray for me and wish me luck.......

Thanks, Yes the doctors messed up and have been doing it all year trying not to get in trouble for thier mistakes the many there are hoping I will get better or get lost. New doctors now new treatments and now getting better. Also a good idea for some one to work my horses first I'll start trying to find someone I trust to ride . Dont want to undo all my work. I really like my horses and dont want the wrong person on them. And yes you are right I you cant keepworking the young or rank ones without getting a hard hit once in a while. If I get my confidence back I will not be riding them any more I am getting to lod and the ground is getting harder.

Wierd...I was just ready an article today in a magazine I have. It was titled "Hope for the Haunted Equestian". It was about riders who are dealing with a lingering fear or phobia resulting from a bad accident. It's a psychological thing called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). It was developed in 1987. I can scan the article and send it to you if you want. They also have a link:  www.emdr.org.

I haven't looked at this site, so I don't know if it can help you.

I will check out the site. And yes PLEASE send the article. Someone else may get some good out of it too.

THANK YOU!!!

I have just got where I can walk into the store without stopping in pain.. I still cant see to drive very well and I cant drive at night at all or sit with a light over me.   

If this is how you feel, you're in no shape to ride.  I'd rest and give it more time until you feel strong and healthy again.  There is no rush.  First things first, take care of yourself.  Don't pressure yourself into thinking you have to get back on right away.  Try to heal completely, rather than jump on the second you can.  Give your body a break.  If you rush it, I think you would be more likely to have another accident for two reasons:  You've lost confidence and your body is weak and recovering.  When the body is weak or sick our mind doens't work at 100%, and vice versa. At least wait until your body is ready, then you will have one less thing to be concerned about.  And remember, the older we get, the longer it takes to heal.  There are other ways you can remain involved w/ horses while your wait on your body to heal. 

This is exactly what my husband says. I guess I just want so bad for my life to return to normal again. But as they say no pain no gain. The pain has allowed my Faith to grow stronger and I guess in time my physical strength will return along with my confidence.

Everyones words are so much help.. And you all have no idea how much I apreciate the advise. I will give it plenty of time, I guess its been over a year and a little longer will not kill me. I need to hold on to my pride a little longer and let me body heal more.. In the mean time that will give me time to get my horses ridden by someone. And give me time to build up more strengeth. I have been walking my 3 year old around the yard and my coordination with my footing is not to good and its still painful, but when I do start I will start with just sitting.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you

It's good to hear that there are other people that are in the same boat. I won't go into detail, but to this day I still have fear from an accident 3 years ago. I was on a dead broke horse out by myself cantering along far from home, when all of a sudden he decided to start bucking with all his might with no warning and off I came. I only ended up bruised and had a minor concushion, but I lost all confidence and did not ride for over a year. I never did get back on that horse. (I sold him) I think the worst thing about that accident is that I had never ever had a problem with hime and he really did seem to be broke to death. He was 15 years old and had seen and done it all. After that, I will never believe that there is a truely dead broke horse. Anything can happen anytime. I have a mare that had also not been ridden all that time and I so desprately wanted to ride again, but was afraid. I sent her to a neighbor for 30 days and when she came back, I slowly started to ride again. Mostly just in the round pen, but I did trailer out on go on a few trail rides. Now I ALWAYS were a helmet and mostly just walk/trot. I still tense up terribley when people come cantering up behind me because my horse  gets a bit anxious. I had posted awhile back looking for people in the Middle Tennessee/lower mid Kentucky area to go on leasiurely rides with, so if any of you out there are interested let me know. The gal I used to ride with got board with me because all she wants to do is run up hills and ride fast and I only want to walk/trot and canter when I'm feeling really brave. I really do know how you feel. Also, I think part of it comes with age. I'm just a few years older then you, but I could see my confidence falling when I hit my late 30s after several minor accidents. I was like you. I would ride anything without fear, but sadly those days are gone. I wish you all the luck and like the other people have said, take it slow and easy. Keep in mind, you may never be like you used to be, but you can still enjoy your horses at a leasiurly pace like I do. Good Luck and I'll think about you as I'm climbing aboard my horse thinking brave thoughts. IM me if you ever feel like you need a boost. My horses have been off all winter, so I'm slowing working up the bravery so I can ride again.

                                                  Danielle

I hope this thread helps you.  It has helped me.  A couple of years ago, I fell from my gelding and dislocated my elbow so bad I ended up in a cast for 6 weeks.  3 months later, my horse and I both went down and I broke my ankle bad enough for a metal plate and 9 pins.  The following summer I was a scared puppy.  It took me the second winter after my accidents to start looking forward to summer.  I really worked that winter to get my strength and balance back after favoring my right side for so long.  I was physically ready to get back on.  I went out and spent time thru the winter with my gelding as much as I could on the ground, reconnecting.  When summer came I used the baby step approach.  One day I got on.  One day I rode around the back yard.  etc.  Reading some of the other posts, I don't feel so bad that it's taken me a few years to get it back together.  Good luck, please don't push yourself.  Your true love of horses will eventually put you back in the saddle when you're ready.  Until then, they are beautiful to watch, to brush, to laugh at and to cry on.